Friday, April 5, 2024

A Room With A View

A woman must have money horses and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. play music.  Virginia Woolf (changes by me)

I love my new barn sanctuary. 


This magical room has allowed me to do what I love near the animals I love. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to actually living with them. 

I practice the flute everyday, scales and songs, squeaks, screeches, yet they don’t run out of their stalls. They remain curious. 

Somedays, I walk the breezeway, playing a melody for each horse. They seem to like it. 

The snow returned this morning, and I blame Aurora and Shirley for sending it to us! Haha!



Last night, I had a Dune Date with my oldest son and daughter. (We saw Dune 2 at the theater.) When I got home at 9:30, it was raining hard and the horses weren’t in the barn. My daughter and I booted up and went out to bring them in, and boy were they excited to get into their cozy stalls. 

This morning, that rain had turned into this—snow—April Winter! Surprise!

I think I need to trek out to the barn again and play a song for sunshine before I begin their room service. 


Wednesday, April 3, 2024

What a Calm Horse



Last year, my trainer, Regina, said that if you train your horse right, you should be able to put it away for the winter and start back in spring right where you left off. 

I was skeptical, but I trust and, therefore, believed her. When you think about it, it’s not much different than “what you release is what you teach.”

Yesterday, I took Tumbleweed back to the equestrian park. It was a beautiful day, 71 degrees and sunny. Lots of green grass. 

(The neighbor’s place below, on our walk)


The park was full of fresh horses and riders. Mares being silly. Geldings being distracted. In fact, I ran into many of my friends heading out for trail rides, and they all told me that their horses were full of it.  

Sarah, the trainer who started Tumbleweed, gave me that sage piece of advice in his 3 year old year. I asked her how I would know he was ready to ride. She said, when you have his full attention. If you don’t have his attention, don’t get on. 

Simple, right?

I spent the first 30 minutes doing just that. If he looked at the other horses, and he did, or if he whinnied for them, and he did, I would send him out. When he gave me his full attention, he rested. When I had his attention, I got on and rode. 

Guess what? Regina was right. Tweed took right off where we left it last November. My friend rode along with us and she just couldn’t say enough good about him. That’s a good looking horse you have there, Linda! Look how calm he is! 

Yay, Tumbleweed! 

We stood talking for a little bit and Tweed wanted to tune into her gelding, but I redirected him, and he settled right down. I told her that for right now, I want him to know it’s about him and me only.  When he’s in saddle, he doesn’t have to worry about other horses because he’s safe with me. 

He didn’t really have that concept down last year, but he does now. 

It’s going to be a fun year with Tumbleweed, and we’re off to a great start. I have to get him shod when I get back from a trip we’re taking mid-April, and I have lessons scheduled with Regina to further develop his, and my, trail skills as a team. Team is the keyword. 

I hope that by mid-May, early June, we are on the trails full time with a rock solid foundation and partnership. If we have that, we can do anything. 

Wish us luck!





Tuesday, March 26, 2024

The Ring Arrived!

My ring arrived today from Scotland, and I can't stop looking at it.

Cowboy's. Hair. Cowboy's hair. Cowboy's hair!!

Wow.

I held it up to Tumbleweed and he smelled it for a long time.


The ring maker offers an option of sealing the hair on most of her rings, but this style doesn’t allow for it. The hair is raw. At the time, I wanted that because I didn’t want a barrier between my skin and Cowboy when I touch it.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of it all day yesterday. When I was playing my flute. 

Wow. 


On the way out to the barn. Wow. 


Standing in my kitchen. Wow. 


Standing in front of Cowboy’s old stall. 



I kept thinking, this is Cowboy, and I was dealing with all the emotions over again, but in a different way. I was wondering what it meant to carry a soul with you. How can I access it?

I don’t have answers to that question. Yet. 

It also occurred to me that this ring is not one I will be able to wear daily. It’s a ring for going out or living a more leisurely life. I contacted the maker about getting one for everyday wear, and that is when she told me about sealing the hair, something she can do with the other styles, but not this one. The other styles are also inset deeper, which protects the hair even more. Since this current ring isn’t sealed, you wouldn’t want to get it wet. 

I wouldn’t change a thing about this one because I love the raw hair, but I did order this one. 


Unfortunately, she sent the remaining hair back to me, so I will need to go through the whole process again. 


I took Tumbleweed to the state park a few days ago. I was amazed that he remembered everything we did last year. It was as if no time had passed. He was ready to work. 

I wonder if being the only gelding has made him grow up. Mares never play. They’re always serious about one thing or another. Perhaps, Tweed was relieved to get away. 

The last time we were at the state park together, Cowboy was still alive and a vital part of my life. This time, it was just me and Tumbleweed. When we got home, there was no horse waiting for me at the gate, only Tumbleweed by my side. 

Back in the day, Cowboy would hear my truck and trailer pulling in and he’d come to greet me. Every single time. 

Now, Tumbleweed greets me. 

I decided that at the end of this season I’m going to have Sarah make one more ring to commemorate our first year alone together. It’s going to be Tumbleweed’s tail hair. Why wait until they die? We have a lot of years to look forward to, and almost six that are already behind us. 

Wow. 


Wednesday, February 28, 2024

From Wine to Music to Colonoscopies to Wild Rumpuses

Our barn room has continued to evolve. We have entertained friends in it twice now. The first get-together was for wine and appetizers. We called that it’s christening, and shared a bottle of Cayuse Syrah we had been saving. 

The second was a surprise visit from old friends who just wanted to stop by and catch up. They brought a feast from Jimmy Johns, along with cheesecake and many other snacks. They loved being out in the barn. It’s quirky, ...like we are. 

The most drastic evolution, however, was into a music room

It started with the flute, but was soon followed by one of my guitars. 


Shortly after that, I found the PERFECT spot for my electronic Kawai. Presto Musico. 

But it’s not all fun and games around here. Yesterday, I had a colonoscopy. 

If you haven’t had one, you probably think the actual colonoscopy is the worst part. 

It is not. (Though I am thankful, finally, for masks, as my attending physician wore one, and I hope to never recognize him in public.)

No, the hard part is what they call the prep

I’ll tell you what, that is a lot of work to get a procedure you already dread. Several times I almost quit, but by the end of the night, having starved all day and forced down 64 ounces of something like a laxative, I was committed. 

The next morning I woke at 5 am, forced down another 64 ounces before 7 am, and then waited. Lucky me, I didn’t have to wait long, because the office called early that morning, after having received TWO cancellations (no surprise, since I had been tempted to do the same myself) and hoped I’d come in early. 

Sure thing, because I was tired and hungry!

The rest was a cakewalk. (keyword: cake) I got the best 15 minutes of sleep in my life, and don’t remember one damn thing. 

I feel like I deserve a trophy. 


The day before the colonoscopy, I opened my eyes to find NO horses. 

My bed overlooks the turnout, and the first thing I see every morning is my horses. But not that morning. 

I told my husband it was strange. He was like, nah, it’s fine. 

But you know me, I’m a worry wart. 

I got out of bed and walked to the window, where I could get a better view of the barn and pasture, and there it was: Cowgirl was standing outside of the fence, near an open gate. They were all gone!

Five alarm fire, folks. 

Let me just say, there is a reason that we fence AND cross fence.

There had been a windstorm the night before and my husband had left the breezeway doors open so that the wind would blow through and not damage them. (In hindsight, not the best call.) Well, no surprise, the horses made their way into the barn where the hay and grain were stored. The barn remodel got a different sort of christening that night.

Oddly enough, and I suspect it was due to the enforcer, Beautiful Girl, the grain was barely eaten. Between 7 horses, only 1/4 a bag of whole oats was gone. There was the possibility only one horse had indulged, but that was unlikely, since no one was colicky at the after-party.

I traced their tracks, clear evidence of their adventures, left in actual hoof prints and manure piles, and they had made it all the way to the front gate by the road. They had also spent some time in the arena. 

It was a veritable wild rumpus.

When we got out there, they happily obliged to go back into their turnout.  (Irrefutable evidence they’d been out all night.)

I observed them for the rest of the day, and they were content lying in the sun, mutual grooming, drinking water, slowly, from the trough with a dreamy look in their eyes. They were quite proud of themselves.

Like I was, when I successfully completed the colonoscopy.

Though my reward was not a trophy, it was the choice of a meal, which come to think of it, was better than a trophy.

Those last friends who stopped by to see us in our barn room have a saying, and I’m pretty sure they invented it: Go big or go home!

The feast they brought that day was a massive sampling of Jimmy John's wraps. We'd never had anything from Jimmy John's, but they got us addicted...or at least, they got me addicted.

My first meal, post-fasting, was a Jimmy John’s chicken Caesar wrap. Woot! Woot!

Oh, and I didn't lose 3 pounds, like the pre-op nurse promised, hoping to entice me to follow through. (My body is rebellious, and doesn't work like that. It was like, why are you being so mean?)

What enticed me is that a colonoscopy is a great preventative procedure. I am told that 10% of polyps will progress to cancerous, but they are easily removed, if found, during a routine colonoscopy. 

In all seriousness, that is my reward.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

All's Well That Ends Well

Epona is back to normal. She was still stocked up yesterday, but there wasn't any heat in it, so I let her stay out with the herd and today her leg is back to normal.


I haven't seen her lay back down in the loafing shed, but it is safe for her now, when she's ready  

It has made me think about our travel plans and how to prepare for emergencies like what happened to Epona, should we be away when they happen. I'm going to call my vet and see if there is a company that specializes in extractions or difficult situations. 

You probably all remember that my former horse, Cowboy, was an orphan foal. We were told that his mother got her head stuck in a feeder and broke her neck when he was one month old. You just never know what might happen.


Winter sure slows us down and pushes us into new adventures. On our way home from Sedona, I watched a free movie on the plane, Anchorman. It was very stupid, and I slept through most of it, but there was a part where he plays the flute like a crazy man and shoots flames out of the end. I had been a flute player, a flautist, from 4th grade to 12th grade. It was just band, but the foundation never went away. When we got home, one of our granddaughters had come up for the weekend, and she was playing her flute, then the piano, then her flute, then the piano. I thought to myself that I had put too much time and effort into the flute to never play it again. So, I bought a new one. My fingering is still good, but I sound awful in the high registers. It's going to take a bit to get it back.

I'm trying out a subscription to the website Tom Play. It has sheet music for almost any instrument, and it scrolls through the music, while also playing an accompaniment. It's really fun, especially since a flute is such a lonely, yet melodious instrument. Playing in band all those years was collaborative and fun, but playing alone doesn't have the same bang. Plus, you just learn faster playing with others, or an accompaniment. I think I can also use it for piano and guitar.


I think I wrote last year about my interest in Ash Wednesday. My dad went into hospice on 2/22/22, Ash Wednesday. That was the last day we ever spoke to him again. He passed on 3/2/22, which was the date for Ash Wednesday 2023. 3/2/23. Well, at the time we looked ahead and saw that in 2024, Ash Wednesday would fall on my daughter's birthday. It seemed so long away, and her life was so positive and shiny, but it did concern me. 

Fast forward and, indeed, she has gone through something a lot like a death process since June. Was it some kind of foreshadowing from the heavens? Something that predates time, because it’s not bound by time? A message? A warning?

I think so.

It was a reminder about how everything is connected. I don't know how. I don't know why, but it is.

When we were in Sedona and attended mass at the Chapel of the Holy Cross, Father Ignatius Mazanowski gave a homily that included, among other things, the topic of bitterness and forgiveness. He had also written a book on the topic, which I purchased before I left.

It has been of great interest to me, and the spiritual gift that I'm seeking during Lent is forgiveness.

Not the kind that says, I forgive you, but should you die of natural causes, I won't be sad, and in fact, it would be karma. 

No, I'm seeking the kind that says, I don't have any right to judge you. I am no better than you, and maybe even worse. People don't choose to blow up their lives and hurt other people unless they are hurting. They might be wounded and suffering in ways that we never know on this earth, but only in some other realm, a place beyond bitterness and losing. But it doesn't matter, because I am not meant to stand judge over anyone else. 

That’s the kind of forgiveness I seek. The only true kind. Anything less is not forgiveness at all. And the closer I get to this great gift of forgiveness, the freer I feel. 

What it comes down to is that we really have no other choice except to experience the sadness, let time heal our hearts, know that some things are beyond our understanding, and embrace the joy and wonder that comes from rebuilding what is broken. 

My son was over on Friday, with his family, and he asked me what I'm giving up for Lent. We're not Catholic, so I was surprised he wanted to honor it. We spoke about what it means to us, and then we each decided to give something up for the next 40 days. We're not giving up the same thing, but what we felt was appropriate for each of our lives.

Lent Season: February 14, 2024-March 28, 2024

Happy Lent'ing!